Fear

Fear is the mind killer. I'm sure most of us have read that at least once, and I can say its true. I don't find myself paralyzed with fear over the usual things like snakes, spiders or fire though. Usually when confronted with such, my calm starts and remains from moment to moment as I process a plan of action, then implement said plan of action.

No, fear that paralyzes comes to me instead when faced with the vagaries of market forces, large social gatherings without any known entities there... these things leave me lost, uncertain, paralyzed.

This past few weeks I've been paralyzed with a fear that my job, that great chance and hope I lept to with the certainty that I could make it work, is going to fail. I've never done outside sales, and I find myself forced to do the work via telephone with almost no guidance or opportunity to meet with my prospects live and in person. I find myself critiquing myself at every turn... 'tone of voice' and 'rapport' become paramont and I bitterly tell myself to shut up and let them talk more... but I become nervous and start talking.

My six month trial period is nearly over, and I am in fear for my future. I've not closed a deal yet, and I've no one to blame but myself because no one is doing this but me. I don't see the part I'm doing wrong, so I have no plan to fix it, and so I flouder from day to day, a fish on land trying desperately to breath and slowly... slowly drying out.